Monday, January 26, 2015

ASEAN Literary Festival x Morning Drawing

one of my work was published in 2014 for ASEAN Literary Festival held by students of English Literature UIN Syarif Hidayatullah Jakarta. I was honored to be involve in such art and culture exhibition for the very first time. I supposed to participate in two exhibitions last year but one of the event organizer cancelled it because a serious (and silly) problem. I wish I could have more chances to participate in art exhibitions.

thank you very much Morning Drawing and also my collaboration partner Iman to create a beautiful messy botanical illustration you really know how to make me working so damn hard haha! I did the illustration of the girl and coloring them all using classic color pencil from Faber-Castell but for background I use Chinese black ink.

yes, to be a full time worker in a company means I commit to use my most productive time at work trying my best to get the tasks done in time and 100% approved. I'm still far from best and you know the expert will walk after the one who never stops learning. so, it doesn't matter if you master it or not as long as you want to learn.

good morning!


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

First Trial Abstract Painting

hola guys! let's throwback my experimental works about a year or two years ago. I used old drawing papers, red watercolor and black chinese ink. I accidentally made these paintings because I was too excited about my new black ink. I put in my brush to the tube and I had no idea that the ink was really pigmented and my brush absorbed too much ink from the tube. so I randomly find papers and make something out of them. I still have three paintings left in my drawer. I will post them too and also update this post!

I added some doodles to my painting collection's collage so it can be more 'me'. have a nice day!


Monday, January 12, 2015

Too Cool To Be True

to set a new goal every new year is always exciting but to execute it is always thriiiiilling!
right now I'm trying to focus on my full time job, freelance job, (trying so hard to be) a blogger, my brainchild, housekeeping, and wh-wh-what??? how can I focus on so many things?! Zzzz
whatever I know I can! hehe :P

anyway good morning dear you...


Thursday, January 8, 2015

I'm Fat but Happy

trying to use primary colors which very very bright and tacky(?).
good afternoon dear fellas, never skips your dinner with family, right?


Sunday, January 4, 2015

2014's Unpublished Artworks Are Published

some of my works that unpublished in 2014. they asked me to make illustration for their special day with the special one. thank you! :)

Friday, January 2, 2015


this is the second lookbook from GYNY a fashion brand that initiated by my friends.



all photos were taken and edited by me
model Talitha Amandha
wardrobe GYNY
shoes DCshoes USA


New Year New Job Same Love

happy new year dear readers! I hope 2015 will be great not only for me but also to all of us. amin
my new year eve was absolutely nice. I spent the night with my big family and my far far away boyfriend talking thru FaceTime and we did make-a-wish for 2015 and for our relationship that become stronger inshaAllah. It isn't easy to maintain a 6 years long distance relationship. we need to add EXTRA in every things we did. extra patience, extra time, extra cost, extra care, and all other extra efforts which sometimes set me to the craziest state of mind. but let's keep it that way... I think that love (and life) is like a roller coaster. we get scared by its heights or when we sit upside-down. we scream loudly and maybe we cry because we can't hold it anymore but that's how roller coaster works to balance our emotion and in the end we'll know that the scariest thing will end soon and leave a memory we might never feel anymore. I love you, E.

based on a previous post, I promise you something to tell... so I think today is the best day for it.

last year, I was desperately looking for a job that match my skill and hobby. I did a freelance job and I like it but all I wanted was a permanent job in an office, I have a boss and co-workers, I have my own desk and computer,  I have income that I could count on it every month, and I want to have experiences that I could share to my kids in the future.

I've sent my CV and resume to (as long as I remember) 6 companies in October. one of them is a local private bank and the rest of them are online fashion retail. none of them were calling me back. I calmed myself... maybe not now or maybe I was just in the level of zero experience where no companies will consider to employ me.

I was begging to Allah that I want to get a job before 2014 ends. I want to work in an office with a position I have dreamed for so long -- graphic designer. at this point I didn't really care how much salary I would get and how far the distance between office and my home.

God gave me a sign. I was never checking my Instagram lately because I have nothing to post and I was quite busy drawing but some time in November I suddenly checked my Instagram and I saw a post from one of account I have followed few months ago. the company of a very cute shoes was looking for a graphic designer. I have a little hope... I revised my CV and portfolio, I read it again and again because I wasn't that sure but my heart says go on!

when I already attached my CV and portfolio I felt like a tiny ant in a sugar jar waiting for human to squeeze me to dead. will I get this job? or just end up embarass myself because I sent (maybe) a pretty bad CV and portfolio. my heart always screams GO and HIT THE SEND BUTTON! so I hit it.

God works like a charm. in less than 30 minutes the owner of the company replied my email and she (hint: my boss is Indonesia's most adorable quirky woman you must see!) asked me to attend the interview. I was so happy I couldn't hide it! I say alhamdulillah like thousand times because I don't know any other words to say. I was just happy and I prepared for the interview.

God you are so mysterious. during the interview I felt I did a lot of mistakes like I was telling the interviewer (who is now my boss) some things that maybe I shouldn't tell or I couldn't give the answer as she expected. there's a question that made me cry. "ceritain 2 hal yang bikin kamu sangat sedih", I cry when I gave the answer and I was sooo ashamed but I just can't hide it. I really mean it. after the crying scene I calmed myself by asking a lot of questions to the interviewer. I felt a lot better and time was ticking so the interview done that day. she told me that she will inform me whether I pass this interview next week. I walked alone to a bus station thinking what was I saying and doing haha I felt so dumb and I laughed and cried one more time in a bus while listening to my iPod and it shuffled my favorite band Washed Out - Don't Give Up (THANKS DEAR iPOD YOU'VE MADE THE BEST SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY). the feeling after I left the interview was 90% sure that I was failed and I should forget about getting a job in this company. but I asked God once again if this opportunity meant to be mine, it will be mine. I shall not fear. Allah with me... I have did my best.

God you are the best planner. I was waking up in the morning, I checked my phone and I got mail from her. I counted the days and it hadn't been a week though. honestly, I didn't even have courage to read it so I leave it there because somehow my brain thinks it was probably a letter of rejection. after days my heart told me to read it but I still didn't want to read it because it's too sad to know that you're failed. what a lame! and in following days I got a second mail and still from her. I felt I must read her emails so I read all of them.

I stop and stare. I read her emails and re-read again and again I was afraid if there's something missing in the text or if this email wasn't actually addressed to me but ... alhamdulillah ya Allah! forgive my suudzhan. I was thinking wrong about you! I got the employment offers at that lovely company. reaaally! I have a very cool boss, a very nice office and a very humble co-workers even though most of them are older 5-8 years from me. what more could I ask but please Allah give me more protections and your blessing. amin

once again happy new year! never stop dreaming! :)

extras: during my jobless days, I used to wake up and menghayal babu. I don't have that much fashion items because I'm broke and honestly a hard-to-impress kind of girl. but I love UP shoes and I told my boyfriend that someday I will spend 5.000.000 Rupiah to buy all of my favorite UP Shoes collection. I used to add everything to cart without even proceed to check out because I'm poor *crying*. but Allah hears every words you said even just a whispered in your deepest heart. a week after I become an employee my boss gave us all shoe collection in the stock room to all of us in whatever quantity we wanted. Allah love me more! alhamdulillah. and I'm so happy. :)